The Unspoken Truth About Ambition

Kobe Bryant once said, “My whole purpose was to get you to reconsider your life choice in playing basketball.”

Imagine working toward a goal every single day for over a decade. Pushing your body to its limits. Structuring your entire life around reaching one elite class of members. Only to come face to face with someone whose goal is to make you question your own sanity for choosing to work that hard.

We live in an era that expects those beneath a certain bar to exude camaraderie and consider others before yourself. They'd like you to sacrifice your own success for the so-called greater good.

But what is the greater good?

Climate change. Poverty. Wealth gaps. Geographical disadvantage. Racial abuse. Lack of opportunity. The struggle for tolerance amid difference.

To me, those are the things that deserve our collective softness. The true greater good is something that demands our shared responsibility, our restraint.

Not whether I want to be friends with my colleagues or competitors. (Mind you, I'm friends with many of my colleagues, but this is just an honest take.)

Please understand, I love to help others. I believe kindness is essential to humanity. I hope to improve the world for the next generation in some meaningful way.

But there is a level of competitiveness that fuels all unique ambition.

And I am no longer apologizing for mine.

When we look at the entertainment channels that welcome competitiveness, they're typically only two: sports or entrepreneurial gatekeeping. Think about it... the only forms of acceptable competitiveness are of those included in that high bar of the privileged. Why is that the same level of ambition, cutthroat determination, frowned upon for the "average"?

Well I have my theories but we'll have to revisit that another time.

Back to the center of this message. The unspoken truth of all unique ambition is a sheer desire to pass all of those on the same track as you.

This can look like recognizing and acting upon certain advantages at work that others are reluctant to take; keeping proprietary information that's yielded success to yourself before knowing it's safe to share (retired athletes do this often); working when you know others are not, with the simple focus of getting ahead.

To be clear, it can't all derive from competition. Focusing on your own sheet of paper to confirm to yourself who you assume to be is crucial. Working with the sole goal of "winning" but never "improving" is a loser's mindset. Although I find competition to be one of the strongest motivators, it can't be your only.

Take Tom Brady for example. Tom Brady achieved the most rings the fastest, in his first four NFL seasons. He snagged three. That stat alone would tell most people "I'm the greatest in the history of this league and I've proven it."

But he went on to win another four. Sure, if you hear Tom talk it's clear that competition was one of his biggest drivers in his success. But the main driver?

Proving people wrong about him.

Tom was selected as the 199th pick overall. 198 players were selected by teams before him... Tom Brady. Even after grabbing ring after ring after ring, still, he had the voices of those who questioned his innate talent, his speed, his arm strength, as the loudest voices in his mind.

I think it's interesting when people frown upon competitiveness in the wild, as I say. That kid in middle school who wants the highest grade on the book report, the second string soloist in chorus who wants a standing ovation over the lead, the student pacing to receive Salutatorian instead of Valedictorian, the sales lead who is trying to get 151% to quota rather than 150%, just to take the lead on the team.

It's often not that they're miserable, jealous of others' success, or need the applause. It's more likely due to them remembering a period of missing the #1 spot when they know they could've achieved it; or recalling the doubts of those who favorited their opponent; or maybe, it's the desire to prove to themselves who think they are.

Ultimately, competitiveness from those who truly want to be great doesn't have name tags on it.

It doesn't matter who is in their way, they want to pass them. It's not personal or targeted, to them it's math.

To get to one, I need to eliminate two.

Those who secretly feel this way, but instead internalize it rather than make it known... well I've found that those people are usually driven by external sources. It's those who say,

"I want to be the best."

"I will be the best."

"I am the best."

...that don't internalize much else, but their greatness.